Showing posts with label husband. Show all posts

only in the darkness can you see stars

I'm in a bad place mentally right now. It's been coming in waves and the last wave has been one of the worst one yet. I've said a thousand and one times about how I'm getting help, and then I stop getting the help or I don't start getting it at all. The thousand and second time's a charm though, right?

It's like I'm a couple different people all rolled into one. There is the "me" that needs help and the "me" that is at least a little bit normal. I ask for help and by the time that I get help, it's the "me" that doesn't think she needs help and doesn't think that there is anything wrong even though the "me" that needs help is still creeping somewhere down in the back of my mind. I'm aware that it's a bit confusing, but that's how my mind is working right now.

I don't know what action we're going to take to get me in a better mental state. To be honest, it should have been done years ago. I can't change the past, but I can make a future. I have a husband that I love and that wants to see me happy. I have a daughter that depends on me. Maybe it was okay when it was just the single me that didn't have a husband or a daughter, but I can't let myself get any worse. I guess this is to new beginnings, maybe I'll actually stick to it this time.

two years.

Today my husband and I celebrated our 2 year marriage anniversary. It's really amazing to be where we are now considering how we started out.


This was me two years ago today! We got married in the dining room of my grandmother's house. It was absolutely perfect for a lot of different reasons. We planned for an 'actual' wedding ceremony and everything, but I think deep down we knew that it was never going to happen. Who spends thousands of dollars on things that you only use for one day?! I mean, if that is your intentions, then have at it! That's just not what we wanted. We spent less than $100 and I am A-OK with that. We'll probably have a small, inexpensive wedding re-vow on our fifth or so anniversary or our original idea of whenever our first born is around age 5. 



This picture was taken the same night of our ceremony. We had just got home from going out to eat and I took his phone and took a picture of us. I'm usually not one to take pictures, but this was just a moment that needed to be recorded. There was an awesome group of people at a table close by to us that bought Josh and I drinks and bought desert for the whole table. If they have somehow found my blog and remember that night, I just want to say 'Thank You!' It's definitely not something that I will ever forget.



This is one of my favorite pictures of us. It's almost two years old. As you may have figured out, we hardly have any recent pictures of us besides really badly posed holiday pictures! It's not only that I hate being in front of the camera (I really don't like photos of just myself, like really really don't like it), it's just every opportunity that we have to take photos, it always turns out really badly posed. I like the more natural look of our photos, one where I turn the camera on, snap a picture, and that's that! They turn out pretty cute, in my opinion. ;-*



This photo was taken the same day as the one above. It's probably my favorite picture of just him. It was taken during the birthday party of one of my nephews. I'm not too sure who shot him with the silly string (it was probably me), but apparently I thought it was the perfect photo opportunity.


I've ragged on the "holiday" Valentine's Day because of the "significant-other-only-showing-love-one-day-out-of-the-year" thing and the competition that comes with it. We are 100% on the same page about it and don't celebrate that holiday (if you can even call it a holiday?). Neither one of us are perfect, but I think we do a pretty good job of showing love to one another daily. Whether it's something as small as kissing in the morning, when he gets home from work, and before bed, or sending a random text because we were thinking about one another. Just anything! I mean the list really goes on and on. I'm not trying to say that we're a perfect married couple and that we never fight, because we definitely do and we definitely have. The best advice I ever got from someone when Josh and I got married was "never go to bed mad." I stand by that big time.

At first I was really on the fence about doing something for our anniversary. It's just not my thing to celebrate something like that. It kind of goes hand in hand with Valentine's Day, except it's also completely different. Valentine's Day is the same day for everyone and everyone seems to make it a competition, but our wedding anniversary is our day. There's no one else there to compete with us on that day. I mean, I'm sure that there is someone else in the world that got married on the same day that we did, but how likely is it that they are in the same town as we are?



This is us today. We are more in love than ever and our love keeps growing every day. I don't regret marrying young or rushing into it one bit. I couldn't imagine my life without him. He's saved me from so much and he keeps me sane. He is an amazing dad and husband.

This is to two years and many, many more.

February Favorites

Hey Guys and Gals, Friends and Pals!
Overall this month has been pretty good! 

Our daughter is growing more and more and learning something new every day. She started actually crawling this month rather than just lunging herself forward. By the end of this month, she really perfected her crawl. She has been pulling herself up on everything and it's not going to be long until she's just going to get up and walk! It's so weird to think that we're going to have a little human running around and getting into everything soon! But I honestly can't wait.
We're getting a LITTLE BIT CLOSER with the process of buying a home. There's so many little things that just kept popping up that's preventing us from going any further than we are now, but we're getting there! I'm really starting to jump the belt and looking at homes online before anything is set in stone. It makes it really upsetting when I look at the same home the next week and it's pending an offer. Everything will work out in the end though. I believe that everything happens for a reason.
Picturing the future decor of the house comes along with looking at homes. I'm trying to think of a theme for the house that can easily be changed when and if we want it to. I'm thinking the same color of light to medium grey in every room with a different color pop in each room. For example, my ideas are grey in the bathroom with a color pop of blue and grey in the kitchen with a color pop of yellow. I'm thinking (and hoping) that this will be pleasing to the eye and help the 'flow' of the house. What do you think?

In this month alone, I've gotten a couple of my new favorite things:
a new phone and a new camera!

My husband and I recently switched over from AT&T to Verizon and so we got new phones as well! I've always been more of an Apple phone and an android tablet kind of person, so that's what I did. I got the iPhone 6+ in space grey and an Ellipsis 8 tablet that came free with any LTE smart phone. My husband has been more of an android phone and I'm not too sure about tablet, but he got the same thing that I did. He's not too sure if he's going to stick with the iPhone, but so far he seems to be adapting pretty well to it.



I also recently sold my Canon EOS Rebel XS and upgraded to a Canon EOS Rebel T5i. This is surely making it's way to the top of my favorite materialistic things. I have a lot to learn about all the settings and things (if I only I remember what I learned in my photography class!), but I really love that I can capture memorable moments and not have to rely solely on my mind to remember things. I wish that I could print out old memories that weren't captured by photo or video. If only, right? Even then, photos or videos wouldn't be able to do just plain old memories justice.


My 1997 Volkswagen Golf!
This isn't the actual picture of my car, but it looks almost exactly like it except mine has a (n ugly) yellow pinstripe going from the headlight to the taillight and has the stock wheels on it. It may be old but I am so in love with it. My husband and I drove to Austin to get it. That was exciting and scary at the same time because that was the first time that I drove his car alone. It was at least a four hour drive. He has (had. long story) a 1995 Volkswagen Passat. They're both manual transmission and so that was the most scary part of the drive since I had only just started to learn how to drive those. After driving manual, I will never go back to automatic! Okay, maybe I will, but it will have to be a car that I am IN LOVE with. 


My favorite animal is deer! When I was in school, it was horses, but it's definitely deer now. I've had some kind of connection with them and it's grown higher than the once love I had for horses. (Or hores if you have ever read my poetry book from elementary!) Deer have such a spiritual sense to them. They just seem like they would be so gentle and graceful if any calming person would come up to them. It's unfortunate that they are killed in the wild. It's unfortunate that any animal is, but I favor them the most.


The Oregon Ducks are definitely a favorite. I couldn't find a decent team picture, so Puddles (the mascot) will have to do! I'm not really a sports fan. I watch College Football more than any other sport, but I don't pay attention to pretty much any other team like I do The Ducks! I'm really excited for the upcoming season although the previous one just ended. Maybe time will pass by fast!





There's no way I could have ended this most without adding in my most favorites!
Our little family.
This picture was taken around/on Thanksgiving of 2014. I try to stay away from being in front of the camera and try to get more behind the camera. My family and holidays are an exception. I'm wanting to start the tradition of having pictures of us every year on all of the major holidays. It will be nice to be down the road and see the transformation that we all make.

images provided by google if not my own.

Just January.

Well, January was just that. It was just just.

Josh and I have started the process of buying a house this month. It wasn't suppose to be this way, but things in our previous plan just didn't work out in our favor. I don't really want to be upset over it, but I sort of am. I guess everything happens for a reason though. I think us finding a home that we will both be content with is going to be harder than the rest of the process. He wants three bedrooms, I want four. He wants two bathrooms, I want three. There's just so many things that we need to be on the same page about. It's finding a home that we both will FALL IN LOVE with that's going to be the difficult part. There is no settling for something that we actually don't like. I mean this isn't going to be a place that we can just up and leave if we wanted to, it's going to be a forever home, a part of us, the home that our daughter and future kids are going to grow up in and have their first memories. There's absolutely no settling. Maybe it'll go a little bit better to plan than what I'm thinking it'll turn out to be.

Moving on...

 I'm not big on half birthdays, but when it's my daughter's, of course I'm going to be biased. She turned 6 months about half way through January. She's our amazing little miracle. She started to crawl in January and perfected it by Super Bowl Sunday. By the end of the January, she had one little tooth that had finally popped through. It seems like she has been teething for much longer than she really has been, but we finally have some results! Unfortunately for Raleigh, all of the restless nights, chewing on fingers and anything else she could get to her mouth, crying when she didn't know how to soothe herself and we couldn't do it enough for her, and then finally passing out are still going to happen for at least a little bit longer. If only us Moms and Dads could cure anything little thing that was wrong with our babies.

Since we're on the subject - here's some other pretty big moments of the new year so far that happened in my life!
- Marcus Mariota won the Heisman Trophy this year! My love for The Ducks has grown a little bit more and more over the years, but the 2014 Season was probably the most invested I have ever been in the team. I really wish that we could have won the Championship, but dang!, Ohio State wasn't going to be easy. They're a good team! Props to them. I really hope that Matt Mariota isn't going to feel so much pressure being on the team this year.
- I'm trying to get into shape and at least eat a little bit healthier. So far, not drinking soft drinks is the only thing I've done. However, I've turned to more tea (and sips of my husband's energy drinks, oops!). Sometimes sweet, sometimes not, sometimes half and half. So for me, it's kind of like a two-step-forwards-and-one-step-back kind of deal since tea can have a lot of sugar in it at times. For some reason, I just can't find the motivation even though this is want I want most! How do you all stay motivated?

Stay tuned for my February post, it'll likely be a little bit late like this January post! (Hey! Only four days! That's not that bad!)
How has this new year been going for you all?

Introduction

I guess I'll use my first post as an introduction of myself.

My name is Chrysta, but if you're here on my blog, chances are that you already know that. I'm 22, married to Josh, and we have a little girl together. I live in a small town where nothing is happening and everyone knows every detail of everything that goes on around here.

My plans for this blog will probably something along the lines of updates of my family and plans that we have for the future and just random whatnot's.

Enjoy and be sure to give me a follow if you do that!
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