Every Day In May: Day 22 - emotions.

Have you ever just needed to cry but you didn't know why? Just let the eye rivers flow for no reason at all? That's where I'm at right now. I have been for about a week.

I don't think it's about moving. I've cried a lot about moving and I'm not feeling too sad about moving right now. I'm sure it will come later. I did, however, have a friend who passed away. I actually should say acquaintance because I've only hung out with him a handful of times. I don't really want to go into too much detail about him and the death, but he was a really awesome guy. Basically all I'm going to say is that the cops should have taken him to the hospital and the took him to the holding cell where he later died. Cops are doing so much shit to make them look bad.

The guy that passed away was one of my really good friends friend and I don't think he knows yet and I don't know what I'm going to do when he finds out. He's actually a lot of my friends friend and they are all really beat up about it.

I saw a facebook post of his brother asking for videos of him so that he could hear his voice and his mom commented on the post and said "OMG yes please please I want to hear my baby's voice" and it just brought me to TEARS. I really should have cried then when I had my chance but I was around people and I can't let them see me weak! Okay, joking, but I just didn't want to have to explain why I was crying.

I know I could easily *make* myself cry. I've done it a thousand times but for some reason I don't feel like it will solve this feeling I have inside. So really, I'm just waiting for the flood gates to open. I don't know what's going to trigger it and I don't know when it's going to happen. Only time will tell.