Washington.

The following was written March 30, 2015 and was just not yet posted.

We have officially decided that we are moving to Washington if given the chance.
I guess when I say "Washington", I really mean the Washington/Oregon area. Right around where they meet each other.
That's a pretty big deal to me. I have never been out of Texas! Not even to travel! And now I'm probably going to be moving to Washington. It's going to be crazy.

I already had to hold back my tears just thinking about the move. I recently found out that my PawPaw (dad's dad) has kidney cancer. He's going into surgery soon, but unfortunately, it doesn't seem like he's got that long to live. I went to live with my Nanny (mom's mom) when her health went down hill and it just really sucked having to see her suffer day after day. Even though I don't go see my PawPaw everyday, I know that he's suffering and it's really heartbreaking. I don't really know what to expect with expecting death. I knew his health wasn't what it use to be, but I really didn't expect it to be THIS bad. I expected death with my Nanny, but in the best way I could possibly make this sound, she was so ready for it. I kind of figured that PawPaw was just getting old and couldn't be out in the garage anymore or be out in the yard anymore. So what do I expect? I have my Nana (dad's mom) that is going to turn to her family for support and what happens when/if I'm not here when it happens?

Family wise - I'm going to miss my twin the most. She's the one in my family that I have the largest bond with. Of course though! We we wombmates. (Haha, get it?) I mean, we never even lived apart until we were 22. Even when my husband and I got a place together, she came with us. It's not like she was planning on staying where she is now. She's wanting to move down south a little bit, but at least that was still in Texas.

I'm not really worried too much about what others think about the move. I'm more worried about what I will think about the move after it's too late to change courses. I haven't really been in the happiest of mental stability and I'm just really hoping that I won't get too depressed and can actually enjoy the move and seeing things that I have never seen before. It's actually not even a for sure thing that we are going to move. It depends on some things. My in laws are thinking about putting their house on the market and that's when we debated on going with them wherever they go. They know that they are for sure getting out of Texas, but I don't believe that they have decided on what state they will be moving to. Although there really isn't anything holding Josh and I back from going to Washington alone, it will be better if we were all to go together. Only time will tell us what happens.